Holy Crap, What A Ride!
Had I been more conscious at an earlier age that this life was going to be crazy and amazing, I may not have beat myself up so much along the way. All of the trial and error attempts of learning how to be a conscious human were all necessary hurdles to overcome in order for me to discover my true life purpose. The severe depression, social anxiety, divorce, paralysis, and self-hatred I experienced were pivotal life experiences that fueled my passion for helping others overcome similar challenges. I now reflect on those challenges with gratitude for they were really opportunities for me to grow into the person I am today.
The fear of vulnerability I felt in my body shook me to my core until I couldn’t bear it any longer. The faulty foundation I built my life upon came crumbling down giving me the chance to relearn who I really am. Discovering that I was not defined by my thoughts or past experiences liberated me from my morbid state of hiding. I threw myself over the edge of comfort again and again, stretching myself and expanding my awareness. I’ve grown content with being uncomfortable and not wrestling with my experiences. I choose to be the witness to my in-the-moment reactions and reflect with compassion and curiosity, instead of judgment and shame. This has changed my life.
Letting go of who I am not so that I could learn who I really am has required continual practice and patience. The deeper I dive into my inner world and clear the old limiting self-concepts, the more I am able to fully show up in the outer world. My life continues to shift as I evolve and I am extremely grateful and humbled by the creative force that lives within each of us. My very best advice to anyone looking to live a soul-satisfying life is to uncover your true self and listen to the whisper that will guide you in the direction that is best for your own evolution.
I’m happy to still be alive.
I now have a TON of fun in life! I’m following my heart and it never leads me astray. My quest to transcend the human condition has paved the way for me to do what I love and therefore I love what I do. The voice that echoes from deep within has grown louder over the years as I’ve consciously chosen to silence my mental programming and tune into my heart. It speaks of unconditional love, acceptance, compassion, patience, and infinite possibilities. This is the voice I now listen to for guidance on my path because in essence, this is who I really am.
I am a Conscious Go-Getter because I am committed to the path of Self-realization and am willing to step up and let my authentic shine for the betterment of this planet!
My Morning Meditation – Sunrise Photos
I rise with the sun each morning so that I can be reminded to SHINE every single day. Even when there are clouds blocking the sun rays, I still have trust that the light will shine through. These are a few of my photos.
Fun Facts About My Journey
- I was born and raised in Northeast Florida as the youngest of 5 children
- I was an extremely empathic as a child and could sense something else going on beyond what my eyes perceived. Aside from the deep “knowingness” I felt lingering in my body, the “paranormal” experiences I had growing up were far too impactful to ignore. Something else was going on and I needed to find out more.
- At age 19, I took my first big leap out of my comfort zone and moved to Northern California (alone!)
- I went to college at Humboldt State University and double majored in Business and Economics only to realize that I HATED studying economics and I had no clue what I wanted to do in business. I wan’t listening to my inner voice, instead I was doing what I thought society expected me to do in order to one day get a “real job”. The lack of trust and self love I felt for myself sent me spiraling into an existential depression that nearly cost me my life.
- After hitting my breaking point emotionally, I learned meditation and was blown away by the power of learning to be the observer of my thought. Fascinated by the fact that I could “turn off my mind” through meditation which completely heal my depression, I threw myself into studying spirituality, neuroscience, quantum physics, and meditation. This was the catalyst for me to take another big leap of faith. Now that I could actually hear what my inner guidance system was trying to tell me, I dropped my double major pursuit the 2nd week of my senior year of college and took up studying psychology! That was a hard moment of growth (especially because I was only 8 classes away from receiving 2 bachelor degrees)
- After college, I moved to San Francisco and went on a crazy journey of passionate self-exploration at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto. I spent 2 years diving deep into spiritual psychology and learning how to process my repressed “stuff”. Upon entering the program I had a severe case of adult onset social anxiety from a lack of self-love and confidence. At the end the course my outer voice was liberated because I finally learned how to trust my inner voice. I also walked away with a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and a specialization in Creative Expression (but it was really all for the personal growth!)
- The contemplative education model and experiential learning process of my graduate school training set the stage for deep healing which led to a massive spiritual awakening where I reconnected with my true self. In an attempt to honor my authentic experience, I took another leap that was far outside the comfort zone of most people I surrounded myself with, but yet it felt good to me. For the next 3 years I studied at the Academy of Clairvoyance and Consciousness learning how to decipher the voice of my intuition and developing a deep connection to the chakra system. Best move I could have made! My life changed once again.
- Prior to graduate school I married an amazing man, only to realize that the person I was blossoming post grad school into was no longer the same person he married. I still struggled immensely at the time with authenticity and vulnerability in my close relationships. As a result, my marriage fell apart. Could I have been a “better” communicator and life partner – absolutely! But it was my hard lesson to learn and I needed to go through that intense process of letting go. Despite the heart ache that followed, my intuition told me it was my path to learn about surrender, self-love, and universal trust. It also challenged me to push myself even farther over my edge of comfort and learn how to be fully vulnerable and communicate authentically without fear (I was still in a habit of repression but was deeply ready for a change)
- I then took another leap and moved to Sedona, Arizona where I opened a full time spiritual counseling practice. I was busy!!!! Unfortunately I was too busy that I didn’t properly take care of myself or take the necessary time to process my divorce. I was trying to prove to myself that I was going to be ok on my own, but I wasn’t. As a result of the stress from the emotional baggage I was carrying around, I woke up one morning paralyzed on the lower left side of my body. I couldn’t move or feel my foot and my whole leg was numb. I had foot drop. For 4 long months I couldn’t walk without the assistance of a custom brace and a cane. This was a HUGE moment of growth because there was a chance I had Multiple Sclerosis and that I may never fully recover because of the “unknown” root cause. I knew the root cause… I also knew that I was a passionate ecstatic dancer (it’s kind of my religion), and to never dance again was simply NOT an option! I did make a full recovery with only a few relapses due to a lack of self-care (I speak more about it in my book). You can be sure that I made note of that experience as a “hard lesson learned” – Don’t repeat!
- Having had enough of my crazy life in Sedona, I leapt once more. This time to Boulder, Colorado. To sum this period up, it was 2.5 years of more personal growth, a job that challenged me on every level and taught me how strong I truly am. I learned about my true desires in life and wrote a 40 page business plan that sent me on a freight train to where I am today. My intuition was LOUD AND CLEAR this time about where I needed to go and why. I listened, I took notes, and then I leapt (again!)
- I moved back to Northeast Florida, business plan in hand, determined to fully SHINE this time around. I am not the same person who left this region over a decade ago and I’m honored to be back with my family of origin, shining without reservation.
- I opened a personal growth event productions company called Peaceful Living Productions (www.peacefulproductions.org) and founded a wellness education center in Jacksonville called Peaceful Living Center. In a relatively short amount of time (16 months), however, I transferred my center to new owners and joined forces with a non-profit venture called Unity Plaza (www.unityplaza.org) which is a Central Park for Cultural Creative in Jacksonville that will bring 365 days of events designed to educate, elevate, entertain, and electrify this city! Set to launch early 2015.
- I am now the Director of Health and Wellness for Unity Plaza and a Meditation Instructor for Hope at Hand, Inc that provides Poetry and Art therapy to underserved populations in many community institutions. Together we shall change this world for the better!
I’m eager to see how the journey will continue to unfold!!
Be Fearlessly Authentic & Never Hide Yourself ♥